he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
