Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
