Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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