is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
