I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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