I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
