I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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