Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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