She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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