Where are you?
In a non slutty way
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Vodka?
Forever.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
