Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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