hotel room ftw
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
