You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
