My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
