when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
