what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
