I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
