So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
