took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
People in love make me want to vomit
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
