This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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