Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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