he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
