Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
She's the barista slut.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
