like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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