At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
