oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
