So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
