I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
