They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
