That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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