I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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