We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
we should paint friendship bongs
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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