He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
