Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
