Nicole vs. Life
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
