i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
