No stitches, just platelets and will power
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
you didnt know i had herpes?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Randomize
