did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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