It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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