Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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