At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
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