saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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