The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
