also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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