Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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