Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
