I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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