TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
