I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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