So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
