Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
