I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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