he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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