well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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