If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
