I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
