I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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