I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize