Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
