Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
