And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
