I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
