Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
