Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
