I wannas sexs uuuuu
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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