I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
