Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
