I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
