We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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