Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
