His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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